“You have the power- and the responsibility- to make your life better.” Oprah has been saying this for years.
I couldn’t agree more. I have few pet peeves worse than people with victim mentalities. Sure, we all go through rough patches, but blaming others for one’s life is a joke. I have no room for people who choose pessimism and refuse to move forward.
I wouldn’t say that my life right now is a cakewalk. It would be accurate to say that I have every right to break down and have an Eat, Pray, Love scenario (not that I have read the book or seen the movie, but we all know the concept). This, however challenging, has been my decision and I am not handing that power over to anyone else.
I believe it is always darkest before the dawn and as contradictory as it is, I am both hopeful and depressed on this Thanksgiving Eve. I am appreciative of so many blessings, while at the same time fighting negative feelings of grief and depression. I have felt both joy and pain in my life, but never simultaneously. Not until this season in my life.
It doesn’t seem like I should be happy right now, but I’m a positive person. It doesn’t seem like I should be crawling into a black hole, but by most people’s standards I’m going through some serious shit and deserve a cave, if I so choose. Then I realize I’m “shoulding” all over myself and just allow myself to feel.
What I feel are two contradictory emotions at once and I’ve decided that’s OK. I’m going to go easy on myself, for possibly the first time in my life.
It’s our responsibility to take care of ourselves individually, because no one is going to do it for us. In the process of improving our lives, there will be periods of temporary blindness and confusion. I am confident that there is light at the other end.