Ask any woman and she’ll agree: clarifying what we want out of life, going after it and successfully achieving it is a dream come true. This is the stuff New Year’s resolutions are made of. There is a massive industry of classes, planners and coaching dedicated to helping women do just this.
After my divorce, it was hard to admit what I really wanted because 1) it would mean coming to terms with the fact that I had just thrown away my best chances at attaining the life I wanted, and 2) telling guys you meet on Match.com that you want to have a family is a complete nightmare. But once I got right with myself and trusted the process (insert best therapy rhetoric here), I met the man of my dreams and the rest is history.
I have been on the right track to polishing my 3/2/2 piece of paradise to Pinterest perfection, and raising my young son, complete with all of the play dates and mommy and me classes imaginable, just as an obedient suburbanite should. But recently, an equally exciting and terrifying opportunity arose to, yet again, shake things up.
If you were to go back in time and ask Little Chel what she wanted out of life, she would have told you glitz and glam, and nothing would have killed her spirit faster than to inform her she would actually lead a life of mediocrity. Couple this with a quote I recently stumbled up by Robin Sharma, “Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life,” and you have one conflicted lady.
Several major things happened in 2.5 short years that turned my life philosophy upside down: I graduated college (better-late-than-never-style), I left my ex-husband, I lost my grandmother in a very unexpected way, I became pregnant, got married, lost my step-father to a combo of three cancers, bought a house and had the baby. Since then, the dust has settled on my now peaceful existence and I’m happy. I’m not interested in stirring the pot out of boredom.
I don’t believe that settling down, however, means settling for less. So as I grapple with whether to keep the status quo or make a leap of faith, I’m reminding myself that a good year contains both new and old elements, and that change doesn’t mean everything has to change.
My New Year’s resolution is turning out to be more of a New Year’s decision + transition. To be continued…
Are you a settler or a risk-taker, and can you be both?