I can no longer use the slogan, “This is my life in suburbia,” on my blog headline. I have officially moved to a city, albeit a small one.
The population of the county I am from is approximately 160,500, whereas the county I have moved to has an estimated population of 631,300. Though based on my time in Santa Fe, I could argue that population doesn’t make a place a “city.” Culture does. Availability of amenities does. And my new location definitely has more of both of these.
Not having to commute? Not having to fill up my gas tank and get oil changes constantly? Priceless. Natural grocery stores are right around the corner from me, but if I’m particularly broke one paycheck, there are three Walmarts nearby, too. I have my pick of Catholic churches, and I’ve also found a Buddhist center only five minutes from my home. It’s a strange sensation to be able to spend time with friends, and not have to drive the long, dark, interstate home…hence my ability to accept invitations more often.
There are aspects of living in a city that some would call headaches, like a much higher crime rate or taking nearly the same amount of time to drive a shorter distance to work because of traffic, but I’ll take the trade-offs.
Mostly, I am the happiest I have been in years because I am incredibly grateful. To establish a home just to have all taken away, to move back in with parents, all the while feeling incredible guilt for not being able to stand on my own two feet, was stressful. I feel it aged me and wore me down, but now, I feel light. Something as small as being able to use my own kitchen supplies again, and unpack things that have sat in storage for years, is gratifying. I don’t care what kind of coffee table I have: I have a coffee table of my own! I live in a small-ish apartment with my partner, my things, my dog, and I have room for my daughter, when she visits. Despite the journey I’ve been on and the recent loss of my grandmother, or maybe because of these things, I have a renewed sense of appreciation and peace. It’s not just lip service.
And I wouldn’t understand the value of all of this, had I not seen the flip side. The city is looking awfully sparkly against the backdrop of suburbia.
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