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What is a Death Doula?

As a follower of my content, you’ve probably realized I have a close relationship with grief, loss, resilience, and death. So, it’s no surprise that I’ve started studying to become a death doula. The title sounds new age-y and, hey, I am kind of new age-y, but I’m also very practical and I know exactly how I can be of service to everyone (everyone who’s willing, that is) by doing this work. It’s very movie-of-the-week to say this, I know, but a higher power has been steering me toward this for a while now.

I’ve chosen the Going With Grace program after being a fan of Alua Arthur’s for many years. It was her talk for the End Well project that really got my attention. She explains it best when she says, death doulas help their clients answer the question, “What must I do to be at peace with myself, so that I may live presently and die gracefully?” This might translate to making meaning out of one’s life thus far, healing relationships before saying goodbye, finding meaning in suffering, building a personal relationship with death, or making preparations for death. Many times, it’s a combination of all of these. Death doulas help both types of clients: those who know what has a high probability of ending their lives, and those who likely still have many healthy years left.

Some death doulas do this work in conjunction with other services, some medical and some not. Others do it to be better hospice volunteers, and lead more fulfilling lives themselves. I hope to provide a combination of services in the future. As I continue to embark on this journey, I’m answering questions regularly on Instagram and Facebook. No question is taboo, so please join in the conversation!

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